


Relative to Farts

by Adamarks



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: I decided their ghost fic needed more simpard to thrive, M/M, a gift for my good buddy clev (:, ily clev (:, remix fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25220134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adamarks/pseuds/Adamarks
Summary: A simpard remix of the fic Relative to Constellations by clevelandy.The simp never sleeps.
Relationships: Simon Snow/Shepard
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Relative to Farts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [clevelandy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clevelandy/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Relative to Constellations](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23980261) by [clevelandy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clevelandy/pseuds/clevelandy). 



> I love you clev, and I love your writing. I hope I made you smile with this one, bud ❤️

Dear Diary,

Today I moved into a shitty old creepy house, but I’m a homeowner now so that’s pretty cool :) 

The taxi driver was a fuckin creep and the house is stinky and I’m probably gonna get that disease that those commercials say you’re entitled to compensation for if you get. Also I’m hungry. Oh! And the guy in the portrait downstairs looks like a total dickweed that just shit his pants. So  _ that _ shit’s getting trashed ASAP. It’s got them eyes that follow you. 

However, the guy that welcomed me. He’s kinda hot. He’s married tho :/ oh well. I wish I could have nice things. 

  
  


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Dear Diary, 

Today I broke my nose but then I let Shepard take me to the hospital bc the ingrained fear of medical care I gained from growing up poor in the United States didn’t conquer me today :)

Like that chick in Legally Blonde with the UPS guy we fell in love in the emergency room and he offered to let me live with him and Penelope. :) I love my life fuck that musty old house :)

  
  


-

  
  


Dear Diary,

Shepard is divorcing Penelope:) they’re gonna just be best friends and Shepard and I are gonna get a common law marriage so that I can get citizenship bc I didn’t think about that before and we’re gonna live happily ever after and tear down the old house :)

The End ❤️


End file.
